The Wobblers Encyclopedia of Parasitic Fungi

Mr. Rotifer H. Wobbler

The Wobblers Encyclopedia of Parasitic Fungi was compiled by Mr. Rotifer H. Wobbler and published in 1959. It is internationally recognized as the primary resource for information pertaining to parasitic fungi. Unfortunately, Wobblers had a very short run of only 200 copies, thus it was never widely distributed beyond the world of academia. Today, due to its scarcity and value, most copies are kept under lock and key at corporate bio labs or a few select universities.

Mr. Wobbler's interest in unusual botany began as child when he received a Venus Flytrap as a Christmas present from his Uncle Eugene. Under the care of the young Mr. Wobbler, the Venus Flytrap thrived on a steady diet of house flies and the occasional dollop of ground meat.

While attending Laramie Middle School, the young Mr. Wobbler became enthused with entomology. Of particular interest were the very aggressive fire ants found on the school playground. With the use of a magnifying glass, the young Mr. Wobbler spent hours observing their habits. Then one day he saw an ant dangling from a blade of grass just above the mound. This ant appeared to have long horns growing from its back. The next day there were more of these ants. Soon it appeared that most of the colony was dangling from blades of grass, each sprouting horns. By the end of the week, the mound was completely still, surrounded by dangling dead.

Wobblers Encyclopedia of Parasitic Fungi

Completely dumbstruck, the young Mr. Wobbler was determined to discover what had happened to his beloved ant colony. He began a flurry of letter writing, reaching out to any person or institution that had anything to do with entomology. Six months later he received his answer: Cordyceps, a type of fungus that uses a parasitic stratagem to propagate.

This answer opened up a whole new world to the young Mr. Wobbler, a world that quickly became an obsession and the foundation for his life long master achievement, the publication of The Wobblers Encyclopedia of Parasitic Fungi.

A Word From Our Distinguished Director

Dr. B. F. Smith PhD

My first encounter with a Nomadic Fungus was very typical of most first encounters, I simply didn't know what I was looking at. I assumed it was some sort of large plant, perhaps a cactus. It looked very strange growing from the rusted hulk of an old car, but given that I was hopelessly lost in the rock strewn desert of southern New Mexico, I had more pressing issues to contemplate....

It would be another twenty years before I discovered that what I had stumbled across was a Nomadic Fungus, a mutated mushroom from the cordyceps genus. Out of pure amusement I did a little more research, but strangely there wasn't much out there. No scientific papers. No government sanctioned research. No PBS specials.

Most of what I found were small town newspaper clippings about old geezers and hermits who claimed their junk cars were covered in large mushrooms. Inevitably the articles would pose the question, "Were you anally probed?"  Everyone knows aliens not mushrooms do anal probing. This seemed like a deliberate attempt to discredit the interviewees. It was my first glimpse at the massive cover up surrounding the Nomadic Fungi pandemic. 

Midnight Nibblet Volvo 245DL

This scale model of the Midnight Nibblet fungus attached to a 1974 Volvo 245DL is based on photographs sent to the Nomadic Fungi Institute.

Although no cases have yet been officially verified or acknowledged by the U.S. government, rumors of giant fungi growing from automobiles began to circulate in the 1950s.

The original Midnight Nibblet photographs were estimated to have been taken around 1981, but they remained stashed away in a shoebox until May of 2012 when they came to light during the family estate sale.

The Nomadic Fungi Institute recognizes that today's economy is built upon a vast transportation network and that the existence of a parasitic fungus feeding upon automobiles imposes a serious threat to all humanity.

The Nomadic Fungi Institute is dedicated to the research and documentation of the phenomenon known as Nomadic Fungi. It is the goal of the Nomadic Fungi Institute to make all documents, interviews and photographs that pertain to this very serious threat available to the public at large.

For more information please visit www.WorldOfNomadicFungi.com   

T-Bird at the Golf Course

This Eye Witness Account was filed on February 19, 2013 by Mr. Thomas T. Thorn of Springfield Ohio.

  

I took this picture with my iPhone. It was the most bizarre thing I'd ever seen.

My city is very proud to have converted the old stinky trash dump on the south side of town into a world class golf course. After the hoopla of the ribbon cutting, anybody that could swing a golf club (myself included) was out there ripping up the green. To put it frankly, it was down right dangerous, what with golf balls flying every which way. I think more than a few people ended up at the Nabisco County Hospital after being hit by a stray ball.

Now I'm not much of a golfer to start with and having to wait at every green to tee up gave me a bit too much time to pop another beer. So, some of my shots might have been a bit wild too, but I swear I never hit anyone. Most of my wild balls were worm burners that ended up in the drink. By the tenth hole I was down to my last ball. When it went flying off into the poison ivy choked woods I knew I had no choice.

Using my putter as a machete I made my way into the jungle. About fifty yards in I saw this old junked car. I think it was a T-Bird. But what really caught my attention was this weird plant growing out of it. Some kind of toad stool, except it was really big. Like over my head big. It kind of gave me the creeps.

When I got back to the putting green my friends were so drunk that we just called it a day. Over the next week as I scratched at my rash blistered skin, I thought about that car and decided I would go back and take another look. But when I got there the toad stool was gone. Judging by all the empty shotgun shells scattered about, I figured some kids must of shot it to pieces.

Nomadic Fungi Genus Of Cordyceps

Nomadic Fungi are a transmogrification of the Cordyceps genus. Cordyceps are a fungus that propagates through parasitic behavior. Their airborne spores attach to small insects such as ants, spiders and crickets. The spores first sprout roots that attach to the central nervous system, overriding the host insect’s mental and physical functions. 

Thus impaired, the insect responds in a zombie like fashion climbing the nearest plant where it firmly attaches itself and waits. 

The spores, now feeding off of the body fluids of the insect soon rupture through the insect’s skin and grow upward into long horns. These horns develop a covering of thousands of fresh spores that are taken up by the wind and silently float back to the earth, landing on new unsuspecting insect hosts.